1. Pass the Amurcan Liberation Act making Sharia Law illegal in all 48 states and providing funds to establish a special team to enforce this law...to be called Sharia Stoppers, SS for short. Let us finally rid our country of this scorge that has so massively infiltrated this great Judeo-Christian nation. (mostly Christian really)
2. Build a wall around Uzbekistan and make Paraguay pay for it.
3. Sever diplomatic relations with the regime in the Republic of Puerto Rico. We will steadfastly maintain this policy until the missiles are removed.
4. Make it a crime to serve as President of the United States of Amurca if you are not a native-born citizen.
5. Hope Hicks. She's so hot! Am I right or am I right? I'm right.
6. Restore the ravaged economy of Nantucket and achieve Amurcan energy dominance by ending the War on Sperm Whale Oil. We must eradicate ridiculous regulations so that we can restore our future with the light of clean-burning, Amurcan-made Sperm Whale Oil.
7. Everyone must talk English or you will not get no healthcare!
8. Officially declare Israel to be a place in the eastern Medita...medta...moravian?...big water over there. We're talking sharks, People. We're talking sharks. Big sharks. Really big sharks.
9. Extend the FISA Act for another 30 days or maybe longer. Or not.
10. covfefe.
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